Monday Morning Meditation: Mourning Mouse

Jasper, Mouse (1991-2011), and Bully (1999-2011) in 2006

Two days after posting about Mouse, we were forced to say good-bye to him.  Time has gone on, and in our home we find ourselves missing him at the strangest times – Cleaning out the litter box being one of them.  He always made a mess.  We always hated it.  Now we find ourselves missing it.

My studio, which is where he spent most of his time, has been abandoned for now.  I just can’t manage to spend time there.  I go in, grab what I need, and take it elsewhere.  At least I’ve stopped crying every time I don’t find him in there.  This week I’ll open up the windows and hope that the fresh air will suck out some of the void.

Even Jasper has experienced the loss.  Granted, Mouse hated Jasper, but Jasper loved him anyway.  Now he freaks out due to separation anxiety if Mr. NaW or I leave for even five minutes.  I’m already talking about getting another cat, but only because of Jasper.  Mr. NaW isn’t happy with it.  In my defense, I’ve talked about a new cat for years.  It’ll be a while before we bring another one home, but I worry about Jasper’s emotional health.

I wanted to write Mouse a letter, but I’m just not ready to yet.  I thought about posting it here, but in honesty I seem to prefer to mourn in the comfort of my own home.  Ideally alone.  That is what the last month has taught me, at least, between the loss of my mother’s dog and Mouse.  Wonderful, wonderful Mouse.

I miss him.

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2 thoughts on “Monday Morning Meditation: Mourning Mouse

  1. Honey I am so very sorry about the loss of your beloved family member. Only animal lovers can really understand and appreciate how these babies affect and transform our lives.I've lost 3 dogs to cancer and 1 to kidney failure, most recently my 12 year old "babygirl" Brandy. On March 22 she was put to sleep. I still miss her tap tap tap on the hard floors, her snoring next to me while I'm on the computer, and her sassy dance when she wanted to play.Again, I'm so sorry.

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  2. Thank you, Dark Mother. I was very blessed to have had Mouse in almost all of my life. He would have been 20-years-old in July, and I'll be 30 in September. So while I feel fortunate, it's also strange simply not having him around because he's always been there.Putting a pet to sleep is hard – Having to do it twice in a matter of about 2 weeks was brutal. So I have extreme empathy for what that alone was like, and then know the emotional devastation of having to say goodbye. I'll put in an extra prayer for Brandy and you today.

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