Misogyny and bullying. Do not feed the trolls… But let’s talk for a brief moment about the acceptability of allowing people to say things like this:
“the only people arguing in these communities are woman.maybe you should revive traditional roles of woman as well instead of picking and choosing what you like and incorporating it into your modern feminist minds.”
This was a comment left on my YouTube channel. This isn’t the first time this sort of comment has been thrown at a friend or even myself in our community. I cannot pass it off as simply trolls being trolls. This, my friends, is actually a commonly held belief by certain males in our community. In the last year this sort of statement has been made more than once to me.
Why? Because I spoke my mind. Apparently, friends, since I was born with a uterus I should sit back and let the men revive the faiths of our ancestors by themselves. Apparently it’s only us women who are arguing about infrastructure, theology, or anything else. (Yes, you may pause to laugh here.)
Allow me to explain something to the misogynists out there lurking in the shadows and hiding behind trolly comments, where you’re clearly putting out so much helpful dialogue…
We women are not going away. You cannot rebuild anything without us. And we feminists? We’re going to keep reminding all the women out there that they don’t have to put up with this sort of out and out bullshit. You can treat us like crap, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter.
Why?
Some of us may fall into the traditional roles of our various traditions…
We may choose to be housewives and mothers. But for some reason you seem to forget that we are the ones at home raising our children in the Polytheist and Pagan faiths. We are the ones teaching the future generation what is right and wrong. We are teaching in our vision and understanding of the world with our modern feminist minds. So perhaps you should be encouraging us to debate what we see, feel, and think. Because that will distract me from teaching the future generation not to put up with your brand of bullshit. We are teaching our children not to put up with misogyny.
So, I highly recommend to the fellow who decided to troll my YouTube channel today by leaving the response above… Go back to your commenting on your astral projection and UFO conspiracy videos.
Slowly but surely, I am getting further along in my death midwife and home funeral certification. However, my health is still incredibly unstable, and I’m finding myself at an average of 3 doctor appointments a week. I’m seeing 8 specialists in various disciplines along with a cognitive-behavioral therapist, because who wouldn’t need a therapist when suddenly medical care has become a full-time job? Yesterday I got the news that brain surgery to place a shunt in was onthe table if medication didn’t keep my symptoms stable. And that, if I don’t go into remission, I may end up with a shunt anyway. Meanwhile, despite every doctor I’ve seen telling me what a good attitude I have about the fact I have 2 rare diseases and basically the body of a 60-year-old in my 30s, along with my therapist saying she wished I could go to her group sessions in order to be an example of managing things in a healthy manner, I keep getting told to remain hopeful and positive I will get better by others. One of my diseases is progressive and will actually get worse as I age. The brain disease, idiopathic intracranial hypertension or pseudotumor cerebri, has no medication, no treatment, and very little research done specifically for it. The word idiopathic means they have no idea why my brain is producing too much spinal fluid. I am pretty resigned to dealing with this my entire life; it’s a better place to be really surprised and happy when things get radically better than to expect the best and have none of it go that way. When you are 1 in 100,000 people to get a rare disease with no cure, it really is best to go with realistic but willing to do whatever it takes than to be seriously depressed and angry with the universe when suddenly you find yourself headed towards the option of debilitating pain and blindness or brain surgery that doesn’t always fix a problem. I smile. I laugh. I do my best to find fulfilling things to replace my old passions I can no longer do (large-scale gardening, for instance).
I get into this here, because a lot of people donated to me and in turn allowing me to do this training. None of this current brain-related health issue was in my life when I signed up for the educational program I’m taking, and I’m still dreadfully behind on things promised as rewards for those who donated generously to my education because of it. There’s a lot of guilt there, because I hate not being able to carry through with it at this point. I feel like those who donated should be made aware of where I am with all of it… Which is not as far as I hoped to be.
However, I am pushing through with what I am capable of doing… Reading, writing, taking the class modules I have to get through, and researching.
After NaNoWriMo in November, I will be setting out to really dig into writing a book on postmortem and funeral rites for the Polytheist community. I plan on trying to give a summary of historical practices in various civilizations, covering body care and resources for those wishing to embark on a complete home funeral, helping the reader create a funeral that meets both their religious and secular needs inside or outside of a larger community… Along with an idea for inter-faith help within our local communities and resources for legal questions or further help outside of a religious community.
I am hoping to have it fully ready for publication by the end of next year, though depending on how things go in my own life that’s really a pretty ambitious deadline. It’s where I am right now.
At Apollon’s request, I will be offering oracle on the 7th of each Julian month in His honor.
I currently do not use any oracle tools nor do I channel. I simply interpret what I get told. So if you’re looking for someone who uses something more concrete, that is understandable, and I will happily make suggestions on others to go to should you decide you are in need. I reserve the right to use another form of oracle in the future should I be led to it, and in that case I will be sure to let you know what I’ve drawn in the event you wish to interpret it yourself.
I will be taking up to 5 readings during these sessions.
I do ask that you consider a free-will donation in trade for this service should you have an oracle done by me, to be given after. All monetary donations at this point will be saved for a tattoo that has been requested of me. Beyond that, I will be saving money back for the future temple I hope to see built in my lifetime for Apollon. However, He has made it known to me that He will accept digital copies of art and original prayers, released in creative commons for non-commercial, non-altered usage. All rights of ownership with remain with you, but I will be showcasing your work on this blog and would love to talk more about you as an artist and/or writer. This will be only for the 7th oracles that I offer this.
I will not be answering questions related directly to if Apollon is seeking you as a godspouse. I believe that He is more than capable of making this desire known, and I leave that in His hands. However, if this comes up in my talk with Him, I promise not to leave it out of my message to you.
Finally, occasionally I get nothing as a response to the question. If that is the case, I will simply let you know with my apologies. This is one of the reasons why, in this case, I am asking for the trade of labor (art, prayers, money) afterward.
So with all of that said, if you would like an oracle done tomorrow, please leave me a message here. I will leave you a message with my email address in it, so that you may contact directly with your question. I will do my best to answer your question by the end of the day on the 7th, but depending on my health and household it may take up to 48 hours beyond the 7th.
Preparation in time of peace, when it seems that everything runs smoothly and nothing seems to trouble us, means to achieve those tools – through study, practice of otium, care of the spirit, martial arts, the agricultural/gardening activities, walk in the way of meditation, spiritual exercises – necessary to deal with adversity. It is obvious that it is not an easy and simple path. It takes a lot of effort because the precondition for achieving the Pax Deorum is first resolve your own “inner war.” We must first be prepared to dominate our inner chaos, our agitation if we are to achieve spiritual peace. Inner peace is a precondition for peace outside. Unpreparedness introduces us into a state of war in which we will be surely defeated.
I loved this entire article and wanted to share it. I don’t feel that this is the only spiritual path towards being able to attain this, but this is an outlook I encourage others to explore for themselves in their own practice. A solid foundation in the face of adversity through practice of what you are called to cultivate with the Gods and Spirits is a true gift that is attainable through dedication and strength of purpose even during the easy points in life.
I’ve been pondering this question a lot lately, rolling it over in my head. The Roman answer would be that the local spirits are Genii, Lares, and Manes. We have Columbia, who came from Libertas, but is Her own Goddess despite some discomfort of the origin of her name.
But none of this sits well with me. To say it’s not enough isn’t quite right, but I think I want more than this generic naming and placing of the spirits I encounter here within the context of a historically European religion.
I can sit and study all day the religions of the Native Americans, but those religions are not something I am working into my own tradition even if we recognize and honor the Dead, trying to atone on some spiritual level for what my white Ancestors might have done on this soil. I have that generic 1/16th Cherokee that can’t be proven. My father raised me with some specific beliefs from a couple tribes, not appropriated, but learned from someone claiming membership to said tribes (in a time before the great New Age appropriation started). They are practiced in my home, but it will never be something I teach outside of our own family cultus. It isn’t mine to teach.
So I face the great American mutt dilemma, possibly a very historically Roman one, and I find myself looking around at the world around me that is the New World going Now what? Do I box these spirits into the confines of Roman Syncretism, knowing very well how much we know about how Gods didn’t exactly mesh correctly even back then? Do I relate to these Gods as Apollon? As Odin? As Someone else?
I suppose I could, but something in the pit of my stomach tells me that’s not the way I should be going with this. This is not what They want of me. We carry the Gods of the Old World in our hearts and spirit, but how do I find a way for them to historically relate to America? How to I make them current?
And this is the time of year where I say I don’t. I can’t. I won’t. This is the time of the River for me. It’s time for me to visit with the Missouri River, giving offerings and thanks. Sitting down with the Entity that whispered to me “Welcome home,” realizing that it was the place of my blood. Each river has its own Spirit or God connected to it, and this one is large and powerful. This one is a God. And it has been here longer than the religions of man.
What do I call the God of the railroads that were the lifeblood of the West, which rose in greatness and then fell into obscurity… And yet this Midwestern Spiritworker living in the heart of Katy Country can’t help but feel the chill run through her as she watches a train cross across the fields of corn in a river bottom. There’s a God there. What is Its name?
Who are the Mountains?
Who are the Plains?
Why do the European myths fall short to me while the myths of the Americas feel like they are not mine to touch? Why are we so complacent, complaining that Americans have no cultures like the romanticized Europeans, but falling into the grooves of ancient religions that don’t fit quite right in the space we’re in now?
Why do I sometimes feel like I’m about to shoot off into the space of birthing something new? Why can’t I simply be at peace and ease with where I’ve been all of these years?
Someone whispers to me, “Inertia is death. And I am the hand that pushes you.”
Background: Mr Foxglove is an agnostic humanist. He is pro-raising our children Polytheist/Pagan as long as we stress that it’s the duty in our life to help our fellow man simply because it’s the right thing to do instead of where we go afterwards, which obviously fits in with my worldview perfectly. After this many years, though, Mr Foxglove has developed some rather peculiar Pagan outlooks on things and is in complete denial about it… I am starting to record them, because while it’s maddening to me, it’s kind of hilarious at the same time.
Today’s conversation thus far…
Mr Foxglove: Hey, what are we going to do for the Fall Equinox?
Camilla: I hadn’t really planned on much for the family this year. My tradition states this is when Apollon begins his journey towards Hyperborea for the winter, so prayers and offerings for that.
Mr Foxglove: Heh. Apollon goes to Florida for the winter…
Camilla: No! He goes to Hyper- Actually, that’s pretty accurate.
I’m so excited to see the first prayer out! This was written in payment for my first oracular service I held today. The next call will be put out on October 4th. Thank you to everyone who contacted me this month.
I wrote this prayer as gratitude and in payment for an oracle given to me by Camilla over at Foxglove and Firmitas. My experience with Apollon is fairly limited (thought certainly worth its own post at some point), though I continually find myself thankful for how His children, spouses, and devotees seem to keep cropping up in my life.
This prayer is specifically licensed through Creative Commons to allow anyone to use, modify, and/or share the text so long as they also allow others the same privilege and so long as credit eventually comes back to me. This is my gift for Apollon and His people, whoever they may be.
Sweet Apollon, I lift to you a breath of thanks I bask in Your holy light and terrible love There is trembling and fear in Your presence Quickly morphing to barely understood awe.
You will note no image of Apollon at this time. I have yet to find anything or create anything that I find worthy of Him. The woes of being an artist in love. I bought Him an orchid. It’s the closest thing I could find to His perfection.
A new turibulum (incense burner) for the occasion.August 7th is coming quickly now. Time slipped by as it tends to do in my world. But August 7th is an important date in my own religious calender…
It’s the anniversary of my vows to Apollon. He and I have been together in this relationship we have for 8 years now… 8 years? Has it really been that long?
This year, though, I was told it was time to renew our vows.
I have, admittedly, been avoiding thinking of my actual vows. It’s not that I am avoiding this situation, but it’s just that even after all this time I sometimes feel the immensity and weight of having Him be part of my life at this level. How did this come about? When did this start?
I’m not sure I really have answers to those questions.
And what do I want out of it? That’s what He wants to know with this… All of this time, we’ve been working on what He wants for us and me. Now He wants to know what I want of Him…
That’s not an easy question to answer. Me, who regularly doesn’t know exactly what she wants of her life on a very basic level anyway. I prefer to dream and plan before blindly feeling my way through the actual execution of that.
I can’t do that this time.
This isn’t to say I’m not excited and happy. This is a joyous occasion!
But just like a mortal marriage, it’s a contract that isn’t to be entered into lightly.
The shrine is slowly being prepared. I was given the gift of resin incense and a beautiful turibulum (burner) today by my mother.
(Edit: I have no idea how comments got turned off on this one! Sorry if you were wanting to discuss. It is supposed to be a discussion, after all!)
If you don’t have 20 minutes to watch the video or just prefer the written word, I’ve decided to write something to go with the video. It’s the same points, but you can see how my brain actually does better with written word than speaking. They’re complimentary but not fully the same…
“Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence, and nothing too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
First of all, I want to deeply apologize if I offended anyone or led anyone to believe that my earlier videos were an attempt to draw the line in the sand or create a schism. That was not my intention. These being my first videos and desperately out of practice with public speaking, I may slip from time-to-time and not fully be able to examine the possible consequences of my words. I hope that as I get more comfortable and less nervous with speaking instead of just writing, I will become more mindful in the moment of what I am saying.
I’m delighted that people are picking up on this term and finding meaning in it for their own practices. I do not expect anyone to do so. Personally I call myself an Immersive Polytheist, because this is my focus. This is what was asked of me by Apollon when He made Himself fully known in my life. For me this has come out of a more ecstatic practice as a way to hold that same communion with the Gods in a more controlled manner due to lifestyle change…
I had a baby. I don’t feel in my own life that attempting regular deep trance and using ethnogens is a safe place for me to be in right now. While I am deeply interested in said subjects and continue with an intellectual study of them, I am currently placed more firmly in a more moderate point in my path… I do not really care for the term “mundane” with my own work. While the actions may seem very earthly and unremarkable, when placed within a spiritual context one can find their daily tasks anything but dull or void of the Gods.
So I return to the concept of walking, or in my own background that of walking meditation. Any point in the day, especially the repetitive, boring tasks, can be used as a centering vehicle to quiet our minds and tap into a greater experience. Routine work, especially housework, can be turned into a ritual that allows us to commune comfortably and easily with our Gods.
My life is filled with immersive practices like this. This is very much a monastic life filled with contemplation, though clearly it is not a path of extreme asceticism. It can be quiet. It can be peaceful. This is a fantastic tool with the my role as a spirit worker. I find my life sometimes thrown into chaos by the Work I’m asked to do… The gift of immersion, then, is that I am capable of returning to center and moving to stabilize my entire home and family as quickly as I am able.
I was a spirit worker before I was a mother and a wife. With careful balance, I have been blessed with the ability to maintain equilibrium that allows me to continue on with my Work, albeit at a sometimes slower pace. And this is one of the gifts I hope the current conversations will bring about in our community. You do not have to be one or the other. You can be both if you assemble the correct tools for yourself.
I have also found another place in my own life where Immersive Polytheism has been a true blessing: Art. I’ve been an artist my entire life. In the past, when I was experiencing ecstatic moments that could be classified as hypomania, I was able to tap into energy level that was very useful to the creative process. As I’ve grown, changed, and discovered a few medically-based causes to what easily swung into destructive parts of my life, I found that I was no longer tapping into that pure ecstatic place with creating. However, with my cultivating a more meditative practice, I’ve learned that I’m capable of entering a light trance while working that leaves me able to return to that original creative madness in a much more controlled, less personally destructive manner. This is much more in tune with my home life in that I am able to then balance a divinely-inspired creative practice while still meeting the needs of my family.
I also partially chose the term Immersive, because I believe that the Work I do is an important set of tools for the future. I have a larger goal in assembling these tools and practicing them in a clear manner: I am trying to demonstrate my living religion and its traditions to my daughter in hopes that when she finds herself at a point in her life where she is evaluating her own faith and values, she has had a strong Polytheist foundation to hopefully hold up against other sources that may be influencing her in her life. We simply don’t have enough people at this point talking about this on a practical level.
You see, I’m lucky in that my tradition is heavily Roman. I have a lot more primary sources than other traditions. Still, the problem of the Roman sources is that sometimes in the middle of a great description of a rite, you’ll find the words “done in the typical manner.” Since the Romans were born into an orthopraxic religion, they knew what the typical manner was. There was no need to explain it. Sadly for us, we’re left to fill in the blanks.
In order to return to these practices and values, I have to fill in the blanks if I want to reach my goal: To raise children who are immersed in a living Polytheist religion to the point where the rituals, values, and traditions are so ingrained that there is no need for categories or definitions… There just is their Gods and their faith.
So this world I live in with my religious life may seem utterly mundane and boring to some, but the truth is that I am working on bringing up the next generation of polytheist. I am not more special than the next person who is doing other types of Work. But just because my practice appears to be nothing special to the outside eye, isn’t my work as a polytheist parent important enough that I may claim a name for my practice and toolbox?
Finally, I want to return back to the labeling of this practice and the need to categorize these things. To me, personally, I feel there is a need for it in order to achieve a common vernacular in our community.
On a very, very basic level, it makes it easier for those seeking information, those who are trying to learn, to find what they are seeking. When I first learned that there was a term being used in our community for having a divine marriage with a God, I was relieved. I still didn’t find much out there on a practical level, but after many years of having a relationship I didn’t have a word for and wondering if there were others out there sharing these types of experiences, I was still able to find I wasn’t alone.
For those just learning about Polytheism in a modern sense, when they are searching for tools and answers they regularly reach for the internet. Finding that common vocabulary, terms that we all use, and being able to access multiple sources and view points due to it is an amazing gift we can give those just coming into the world we’re all neck deep in already.
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Foxglove & Firmitas 